SEX AND DATING

The only rule for faith and life is THE WORD OF GOD and this rule applies not only to Sundays, but also to Friday and Saturday nights! It is my intention in this "note" to present only what God says in His Word, because I intend to make the Scriptures the only standard for my behavior.

There are certain things you may take for granted. The first is that I will speak as openly and as frankly about this subject as the Bible does. This is rarely done as most often the church avoids the subject of SEX. Some families skip the book of the Songs of Solomon in their devotion because it is thought to be too embarrassing but God's treatment of this subject is open, and the Church must be just as open as God is on this matter. We must not be open on this matter in the context that the unbelieving world deals with the matter in their movies, talk shows and even in their lifestyles. We must not be silent about it as there are many references to Scriptures that encourage us to do something about.

1 Cor. 7, Prov. 5, the Book of the Songs of Solomon, Job 31:1, Heb. 13:4 and many other passages speak about this subject plainly. To be faithful to God's Word, the Christian and the Church must give her attention to this subject.

Secondly, you may be sure that I will forthrightly declare to you what is sin, and what is therefore forbidden just as the Bible does. i must call a spade a spade. If God says that a thing is wrong, I will not judge or soften what He said. If I try to compromise some of the standards we find in the Bible, then I would not be in tune with the Word of God and that would not be a demonstration of God's LOVE to you. The most loving thing that I can do for you is to make clear what the Bible says that you may and must do, and what it forbids you to do.

DATING

The word "Dating" is really of recent origin. It is a development of the past few hundred years in western culture. This is why the Bible says nothing specifically about dating. This should not keep us from using the Bible when discussing dating for the principles which must govern our dating are found in the Bible.

From the time a person finds a suitor to the time they get married involves three stages. Finding the suitor is the first stage. Dating or Courtship is the second stage and Marriage is the third stage.

Young people often send conflicting signals about the seriousness of their dating. To the family of the two "lovers", the message the most often send is "we're just friends" but to the close friends of the "lovers" the message they send is one that insists on the two being serious about their relationship.

These conflicting signals reflect the confusion the two experiences within themselves as they deal with and try to understand their own emotions. Sometimes, they purposely send out signals which are confusing their parents.

Parents ought to respond to both signals. They must let the two know that dating is serious business and also at the same time a place to learn how to have a lively and fun relationship before marriage. When young people "fall" quickly head over heels in "love" this is where their parents counsel them to "take things easily," "don't get so involved if you're not certain about him/her" "don't be alone always".

BUT when young people say that dating is just for fun, and that they may date whoever they want, then their parents must advise them about the fact that dating is the last step before marriage. They are to let them know that they cannot play with the hearts of the person they're courting if they're not sure that that they are in real love. They should not be dating just because others are doing it. Courtship is the last step leading to marriage and as such must be treated seriously by the parents.

Because marriage is the goal of dating, you just can't date anyone for the fun of it. You mustn't date someone who you are not sure is not going to be your lifelong partner. As a believer why would you want to go out with an unbeliever? Why go out with someone who does not believe in Christ when you know that the Bible forbids it? The Bible encourages us to marry those who are "...in the Lord." [1 Corinthians 7:39]

THE CHARACTER BEFITTING OF CHRISTIANS DATING

It is wrong to date in order to satisfy one's sexual desires. It may be big stuff for a guy to date the school's most popular girl but dating is not a game to play in jockeying for positions on the social ladder. For a serious-minded Christian, there must be a higher and Godly motivation when deciding to date someone.

Girls are more likely to romanticize dating by looking for a "Romeo" to "sweep her off her feet." She can begin to idealize dating, hoping to be able to enjoy the kind of totally unrealistic love affairs portrayed in romantic novels.

Both perspectives are wrong. Both are opposed to the Biblical perspective of courtship which is God-centred. When dating is selfish or idealistic it places God's Word under and most often out of the big picture God intended in His Holy Word. This ought not to be so because God's Word must at all times govern our feelings and emotions.

Sex and dating are not to be separated from the exhibition of Christ's dominion in our lives. They are, in reality, part of His dominion of our lives since we are Believers. Thus, we must consciously place everything beside His Holy Word and weigh them to see if one outweighs the other. They must be balanced at all times because AN UNBALANCED SCALE IS AN ABOMINATION TO THE LORD. (Proverbs 11:1 - "A FALSE BALANCE IS ABOMINATION TO THE LORD: BUT A JUST WEIGHT IS HIS DELIGHT.")

This is not to say that being Spiritual beings we must not entertain romance in dating. PLEASE take time to read the following passages of God's Holy and Eternal Word to learn how the opposite is true:

Songs of Solomon 1:2b-4a, 10, 11, 15a (All in chapter one), and

Genesis 29:20

This isn't to say that "romantic love" would always dominate as in the case of Jacob and his first wife whom he did not love (Genesis 29:31,35). Romantic love also does not make it legitimate for sexual relations to exist between pre-weds. It is a SIN according to the Word of God. (Hebrews 13:4)

I pray that this has been beneficial to you.

God Bless!!!

01-02-2012

Copyright © Sarah Worldchanger Dominique