CHRISTIAN DATERS & KISSING

I use the term Christian daters kissing with reference to Christian singles kissing during the course of their dating or courtship. I receive a lot Christian daters kissing questions from people. A lot of Christian singles want to know whether it’s alright to kiss if you have established a serious courtship with someone especially one that is heading towards marriage.

The problem with love and the feelings that come with love is that love always wants to express itself, whether physical through acts like holding hands, hugging, and kissing or in other ways like the giving of gifts, showing care and kindness and other attributes associated with the expression of love.

While it is natural to want to express love, being Christians, people are warned (and rightly so) about crossing Christian boundaries. It is a good sign that we are still God-conscious and do not want to grieve the Holy spirit which is very noble.

Christian daters kissing is one of those complicated areas because on one hand you want to express your feelings and on the other hand you love in a physical way and even though your intentions may be pure you still tend to worry about whether kissing is right or wrong or whether it constitutes sexual impurity.

Some people are completely opposed to Christian daters kissing because of the potential risks and what kissing can lead to. They believe that it starts with kissing and when kissing is not enough, heavy petting begins, and when heavy petting is not enough then fornication takes place. That is the general argument but not every couple that kisses ends up indulging in heavy petting and fornication.

Christian daters kissing is still a very grey area because we define kissing at different levels. The levels differ from the simple peck all the way to the French kiss. I guess the main concern that most Christians have is whether kissing is a sin in God’s eyes or not.

Is Kissing An Evidence Of Lust? Is Kissing A Form Of Sexual Sin?

I tend to advice people from the perspective that they should be aware of the possible dangers of their actions and be ready to deal with the consequences of those actions. When it comes to answering the questions should Christian daters kiss, I would tell you to look within yourself and listen to your conscience and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Because, if you are doing something wrong, the Holy Spirit will convict you and you will know you should not do whatever it is that you were planning to do. He that has an ear listens to the voice of the Spirit.

But I would like to open a debate on this and get the opinion on this matter. I would like to know your take on your take on Christian daters kissing. Do you think it is okay or do you think it is unacceptable? Are certain types of kissing okay while others are not? I’m really interested in knowing your response and your opinions on this matter. So, please do share your thoughts on this very important topic that Christian singles ask often.

My position is not one of an abolitionist against all forms of kissing, even before marriage. There are many examples in the Bible on kissing (even passionate kissing i.e. Gen 45:15 and Acts 20:37) people other than their own spouse. Additionally, the Bible commands Christians to “greet each other with a (HOLY) kiss [of love].” (Rom 16:16, I Cor. 16:20, II Cor. 13:12, 1 Thess. 5:26, 1 Pet 5:14)

The question we should ask is, "Is it exactly at the Biblical exhortation that we begin drawing a line between what is proper kissing and importer kissing?" That the Bible exhorts Christians to greet one another with a holy kiss and a kiss of love begins to establish that certainly we are to greet one another. Not accost or wrestle with or tongue strangle or any of the other activities that go on when one becomes emotionally and physically aroused by the sensual nature of intimate kissing. The second kind of kissing of kissing Christians are to engage in is “Holy Kissing”.

Holy means separate, distinct, and set apart. Christians are not to engage in the kind of every day intimate petting and fornication that non-Christians engage in. We are called to be a Holy Nation, and therefore, the way we kiss (as well as everything we do in life) should be holy too. Third, the Christian kiss is to be one of love i.e. an outward expression of the love and care one has for the person being kissed.

Unfortunately, the Scriptures do not distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate ways or means of kissing but the Scriptures has a lot to say about the overall behaviour and conduct of God’s people both corporately and individually of which one would seem to agree, kissing would be a part of the overall guidance. Thus, Christians affirm a certain and distinct system of ethics that non-Christians hold to.

I would conclude that it is in the best interest of you and your friends to know the Word of God with regards to your relationships and to obey His Word.

31-05-2012

© Sarah Worldchanger Dominique